Pennies, Prayers and Fountains...Remembering Zach

I usually wouldn't blog about a trip to Vegas, but Vegas holds a spot in our hearts when it comes to remembering Zach.

We started bringing our kids to Las Vegas, NV seven years ago when we moved to Southern, California.  We always had a good time swimming, eating junk food, shopping, walking the strip and taking funny photos. 

A few months before Zach passed his dad and he talked about taking a Guys Weekend trip to Vegas.  Zach & I laughed as he said he'd "drag" his dad to some "girl shows".  He was sure they would have a fantastic, fun weekend together.  I know they would have...had they had the opportunity to take that weekend together.

I knew as I packed my bags that I wanted to bring a part of Zach with us to Vegas.  I knew he'd like to know that there's a part of him here...

I decided that I would bring some of the pennies I have found since Zach's death and throw them into various fountains.

With each toss I pray and wish for something.

The first fountain was near the pool at the Hilton hotel.

I kissed the penny and tossed.

My prayer was for comfort...Comfort to all those hurting.

The second fountain was inside the Bellagio.

I kissed the penny and tossed.

My prayer was for peace...peace to all those needing it.

The third fountain was inside the Bellagio as well.

I kissed the penny and tossed.

My prayer was for Faith...Faith to everyone.

The fourth penny went into the Bellagio fountain show.

As the water shot out into the beautiful sky I threw the penny as far as I could and simply said, "I love you Zach".

I gave pennies to both my youngest daughter and nephew.  While my nephew decided to toss his penny into a fountain, my daughter wanted to save hers.

My husband took a self portrait of tossing his Zach penny into the same fountain. 

The following night I continued to toss pennies...

I kissed and tossed the 8th penny into a fountain at the Mandalay Bay.
My prayer was for wisdom...wisdom for all of us.

The 9th fountain was at the Luxor.
I kissed the penny and tossed it
My prayer was for Strength...I know there are days each of us feels as though we don't have any.

The 10th and final penny was kissed and thrown into the fountains outside Caesars Palace.
My prayer was for Love...That each one of us knows and feels the love that surrounds us.

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While the process of tossing pennies into fountains is a nice and fitting way to remember Zach, with each toss comes pain and heartache.

I wish my son were here tossing coins into fountains, wishing for his own things...making us laugh and picking on his little sisters.

I ask that if you or someone you know is considering suicide to please be the person to make that call.  The call to ask for help, the call to help your friend and/or family member!  I hope and pray that this blog and my grieving journey will help others.  Together we CAN make a difference!

*Please note* We are NOT professional therapists or grief counselors! If you or someone you know is considering suicide - PLEASE seek PROFESSIONAL help IMMEDIATELY!

Call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255!