Apartment 8

Apartment 8

As I decide to walk up to the door of Apartment 8 I think about and remember when Zach moved in.

He was so happy to finally have his own apartment.

I remember how messy the apartment was when he moved in.

He spent a lot of time cleaning and vacuuming the apartment to make it his own.

I remember his phone call telling me about his first meal in this apartment...

Gummy worms and a Monster drink....on a plate.

We laughed at what a meal that was.

Zach didn't care

He was just happy to have his own place.

A month later my sister fell ill and I traveled back to MN to see her and Zach

I was excited to see Zach's first apartment and to do some shopping for him

When I walked into his apartment I see the air mattress he had bought me.  He had made it up with blankets and pillows. 

To my surprise his apartment was clean and ready for mom's visit.

That night we went to Walmart and bought a variety of home items.

I had fun putting things away while he set up his DVD player for a night of movies.

As I walked out of the bathroom from taking a shower, there was a bag of my favorite candy (Nibs) lying on my bed.

He was always so thoughtful.

We watched a couple of movies...one being one of Zach's favorite childhood movies, "Fern Gully".

His girlfriend had joined us and we were all having a nice time together.

Before going to bed I wrote out several notes to Zach...

All telling him how much I love him and how proud I was of him.

I hid them throughout his apartment.

Leaving Apartment 8 I would have never guessed it'd be the one and only time I'd see Zach in his apartment.

On April 8th, in Apartment 8, my son ended his life.

As I walked up the stairs I thought about the chaos that must have been going on that day.

A teenage boy walks in to find my son.

A call to 911 to take his body.

I thought about the body bag and stretcher that was used to take my son out of his apartment for the last time.

I touched the door handle in hopes of feeling Zach's hand.

I ran my hand down the hand rail hoping I would hear his laugh and feel his presence.

I don't think my son ever imagined the amount of pain that would be left behind when he made that fateful decision.

I cry and I hurt...we all do.

I hope that someone else will read this and reconsider any thoughts of suicide.  The pain left behind is immeasurable.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, PLEASE reach out for help!

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people aged 15-24.

Reach out for help.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Be the help your friend or family member needs.

Make that call ~ That call may save a life!