3 months have passed...

I'm not sure where 3 months have gone...

I've never gone an entire week without talking to Zach and now I can talk all I want but I don't hear anything back.

The effects of Zach's suicide run deep in our family.

We all hurt so much.

It seems a Friday can't pass me by without looking at the clock and seeing 11:43 am...the moment I received a text from my sister asking me to call Zach because he wouldn't answer his door.

I think about how my legs went numb...felt as though they were cut off and I couldn't hold myself up when I heard the news that Zach was gone.

I think about the pain and the tears I see in his young sisters eyes.

The anger stage of grief has hit me.

I can't quite explain what I'm mad at...I'm just mad.

I'm mad that Zach is gone.

One day I thought "I wish I could just scream and throw a temper tantrum like a child and get my way...get Zach back."

I know though that no matter how much I kick and scream Zach won't be returned to me on earth.

I think about all of Zach's friends.

There have been so many that have needed professional help since his death.

I know Zach would never had wanted to impose this much pain on so many people.

While I may be rambling in this post...My hope is that these words...these raw feelings can help someone else.  I hope that my openness and honesty will touch your life in a way that inspires you to not only choose life always, but choose to help others.