I'm not sure where 3 months have gone...
I've never gone an entire week without talking to Zach and now I can talk all I want but I don't hear anything back.
The effects of Zach's suicide run deep in our family.
We all hurt so much.
It seems a Friday can't pass me by without looking at the clock and seeing 11:43 am...the moment I received a text from my sister asking me to call Zach because he wouldn't answer his door.
I think about how my legs went numb...felt as though they were cut off and I couldn't hold myself up when I heard the news that Zach was gone.
I think about the pain and the tears I see in his young sisters eyes.
The anger stage of grief has hit me.
I can't quite explain what I'm mad at...I'm just mad.
I'm mad that Zach is gone.
One day I thought "I wish I could just scream and throw a temper tantrum like a child and get my way...get Zach back."
I know though that no matter how much I kick and scream Zach won't be returned to me on earth.
I think about all of Zach's friends.
There have been so many that have needed professional help since his death.
I know Zach would never had wanted to impose this much pain on so many people.
While I may be rambling in this post...My hope is that these words...these raw feelings can help someone else. I hope that my openness and honesty will touch your life in a way that inspires you to not only choose life always, but choose to help others.
