Despite numerous advances in understanding the brain, the illnesses that often begin in the brain and effect feelings, thoughts and behaviours – mental illnesses – remain shrouded in stigma, shame, confusion and fear. Some of these begin in childhood, others during adolescence and some throughout the lifespan. All mental illnesses are troubling and challenging for people living with it, the family caring for and about them, and those around them (friends, classmates, teachers, youth leaders, etc.). The earlier a diagnosis is made and proper treatment is implemented, the better the outcome and the less likelihood of the illness progressing to what sometimes is a tragic end of life by suicide. Here are tips to help identify signs of mental illness and suicide.
■Watch for behaviour changes: Kids change – that is part of the developmental process and occurs from the moment of birth throughout the early 20s. However, watch for uncharacteristic, sudden and extreme behaviour changes as a first clue that something is wrong. These changes may be seen at home, in school, by friends and others involved in your child’s life. Seek professional assessment as early as possible if there is a behavioural change like this that your gut tells you is not who your child normally is.
■Stay connected to what your child is doing: Kids hate to be monitored by their parents, but parents have not only the right but the obligation to watch what their children are doing. That means knowing who they spend time with, what is posted on their social network sites, who they are texting and calling, what they are watching on TV, at the movies and what video games they are playing. All of these are sources of information for you as to where they might be inside and offer a glimpse at whether they might be sad, depressed, angry, violent, etc.
■Set rules and enforce consequences: Sometimes you can learn a lot about your child if they can’t, don’t or won’t listen to you. When that happens, set clear rules and expectations and let them know what the consequences for breaking them will be. If they do this, especially more than once, that is a good indicator that something more is going on underneath and should be assessed by a school counsellor, mental health professional or medical doctor.
■Never assume that your child is going through exactly what you did growing up. They are different from you and they might react different than you did to the same situation. When they seem down or depressed and you don’t think they should be, realize that is your issue; theirs’ really might be depression. How you coped might have worked for you, but that doesn’t mean it does for them. So help them learn how to handle a range of feelings (winning, losing, disagreeing, fear, etc.) and when they do not seem to be able to handle this well and it occurs over time and several situations, it would be good to have them assessed.
■Don’t think suicide can’t happen in your family: In the U.S., suicide happens every 15 minutes. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for youth in this country and that is similar in other countries as well. Talk to your family about suicide, that it shouldn’t ever be seen as an option for dealing with pain, and know the warning signs. Talking about suicide, writing about it, looking online for ways to die, talking about feeling hopeless, like there’s no future or being in unbearable pain are warning signs that you must pay attention to. If you’re worried about this, trust your parental instincts that something is wrong and get to a medical professional with your child right away.
Most children grow up and lead normal, happy and healthy lives. For some, however, there is a rocky road brought on by biological, chemical, genetic and environmental factors that impacts a brain in painful ways. Anyone struggling with a mental illness can get help, get better and lead a normal life again – but not alone and not without help. A combination of psychotherapy and medications offers the best hope for a successful recovery and starts with early identification and proper treatment. Being aware, not being marred by stigma, and knowing your local resources might be the best thing you can do to help SAVE your child’s life from a mental illness or suicide.
[Dr. Dan Reidenberg is a psychotherapist and the executive director of SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education). For over 25 years, he has worked in the mental health, chemical dependency and suicide prevention field. He is an internationally known expert in these areas and offers these tips for parents in the hopes of saving one family from the ravages of mental illness. For more information on suicide prevention, visit http://www.save.org/]
Please note* We are NOT professional therapists or grief counselors! We are only here to provide articles and resources we have found to be helpful in dealing with our own grief. If you or someone you know is considering suicide - PLEASE seek PROFESSIONAL help IMMEDIATELY! Call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255!
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