If you have a friend who is talking about suicide or showing other warning signs, don't wait to see if he or she starts to feel better. Talk about it. Most of the time, people who are considering suicide are willing to discuss it if someone asks them out of concern and care.
Some people (both teens and adults) are reluctant to ask teens if they have been thinking about suicide or hurting themselves. That's because they're afraid that, by asking, they may plant the idea of suicide. This is not true. It is always a good thing to ask.
Starting the conversation with someone you think may be considering suicide helps in many ways. First, it allows you to get help for the person. Second, just talking about it may help the person to feel less alone, less isolated, and more cared about and understood — the opposite of the feelings that may have led to suicidal thinking to begin with. Third, talking may provide a chance to consider that there may be another solution.
Asking someone if he or she is having thoughts about suicide can be difficult. Sometimes it helps to let your friend know why you are asking. For instance, you might say, "I've noticed that you've been talking a lot about wanting to be dead. Have you been having thoughts about trying to kill yourself?"
Listen
Listen to your friend without judging and offer reassurance that you're there and you care. If you think your friend is in immediate danger, stay close — make sure he or she isn't left alone.
Tell
Even if you're sworn to secrecy and you feel like you'll be betraying your friend if you tell, you should still seek help. Share your concerns with an adult you trust as soon as possible. If necessary, you can also call a local emergency number (911) or the toll-free number for a suicide crisis line (you can find local suicide crisis numbers listed in your phone book).
The important thing is to notify a responsible adult. Although it may be tempting to try to help your friend on your own, it's always safest to get help.
While we are not professionals, we are grieving parents. Our lives are forever changed. One of the main reasons for setting up Zach's Friends is to help. We simply want to help others out there looking for information. Please note that there are PROFESSIONALS out there and available to talk and listen to you.
I continue to stress the importance of opening up to our children, but each family has to make that decision for themselves. It is my hope that through educating ourselves and our children we will be able to erase the stigma and help one another in a time of need.
While I'm heartbroken and sad, I can't just stay silent. I have to do what I can to speak out about suicide prevention for Zach and for our youth.
Thank you for taking the time to visit ZachsFriends.org,
Melissa Jones
Zach's Mom
*Please note* We are NOT professional therapists or grief counselors! We are only here to provide articles and resources we have found to be helpful in dealing with our own grief. If you or someone you know is considering suicide - PLEASE seek PROFESSIONAL help IMMEDIATELY!
Call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255!
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